pithetic

a podcast by, for, and about the unpopular and uncultured.pitheticTumblr (3.0; @pithetic)http://www.pithetic.com/episode 21: donald trump presents trumpcast hosted by donald trump<p>Yes, the Blair and Eli Sentman Thorncast has finally reached the age of majority! And we’ve got fertile comedic ground to plow: Joe Biden impressions, how to build bagpipes, Rule 34 for covers of “Flight of the Bumblebee,” and Rob Thomas (but not <em>that </em>Rob Thomas). Eli’s got a lot in common with Coolio, Blair sounds just like Gilbert Gottfried, and a patent troll wants the “His Master’s Voice” dog neutered and killed. Get ready for a game of b-ball AKA me-ball, because a barrel is no place for a monkey.</p> <p><a href="http://www.blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep21.mp3">Listen now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/45610593007http://www.pithetic.com/post/45610593007Sun, 17 Mar 2013 16:00:39 -0400episode 20: this time, it's personal<p>Long awaited, faintly praised, and fondly remembered, our live episode is here at last! Martin Luther King day has come and gone, so it’s high time to feast your ears on the glory of stupid jokes about Carrot Top, competitive rounds of “Hey, it’s That Guy!” and call-ins from Eli’s aunt. Plus, we take a break for pigs in a blanket, give out swag to the multitudes, and almost FALL OFF OUR STOOLS with enjoyment. We were glad to see you there if you were, and if you weren’t, hurry up and email Blair before the t-shirts run out.</p> <p>(P.S. The audio for this episode is a lee-hee-heeeetle bit quieter than usual, so you may need to crank it up. Blame our sound intern, Gary Thornburgh)</p> <p><a href="http://www.blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/pitheticlive.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/42054934265http://www.pithetic.com/post/42054934265Fri, 01 Feb 2013 18:33:37 -0500episode 19: grand theft vanity<p>Think about it: <em>have</em> you ever seen Guy Fieri and Mark McGrath in the same place? This week, we’re hitting you with metaphorical sharks, transportation-related celebrity deaths, Hufflepuff BrainQuest decks, and Trixiphus the Rabbit. Eli writes Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead Sexy and Blair spits blood after eating Cap’n Crunch, and we both muse how some Canadian executives would threaten to come near the throats of the Monkey Union with safety scissors. Make up your mind between Sex and Candy and rock out to tertiary bands of the 90s, ‘cause our avatar is a Pikachu, so you know it’s gonna be good.</p> <p><a href="http://www.blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep19.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/41118326316http://www.pithetic.com/post/41118326316Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:18:50 -0500episode 18: thinkin' patinkin<p>All worship at the altar of Bob Modell! It’s Christmastime, and you know what that means: George Michael gets a gift from the butcher on the Brady Bunch. We look at which holiday songs are secretly about fugitive slaves, investigate the notoriously raucous lifestyle of Canadian Football League stars, and take a three-night trip to see some polar bears. Blair imagines an arthouse episode of Undercover Boss and Eli tastes his first swig of eggnog, and both remember the simpler days of watching controversial subtitles on Joe Millionaire with their dads. Get bitten once and be shy forever: Home Depot is just not that exciting.</p> <p><a href="http://www.blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep18.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/37998312990http://www.pithetic.com/post/37998312990Sat, 15 Dec 2012 13:58:57 -0500episode 17: song of the south pacific<p>Wanna know how Seal got those scars? Find out on a visit to the James K. Polk Emporium and two separate instances of talking about the existence of the movie “The Alamo!” Plus, Eli’s revealed as a younger version of Gary Busey who is ineligible for the Oreo Speed Licking League while Blair’s got face-blindness and a shallow understanding of the founding of the country of Wales. Guests include Josh Hartnett, Gerry Mander, Alien Contactee Lionel Anderson, and Josh Hartnett. So crack open the Disney vault and put on your copy of “Songs Your 7th Grade Self Wants to Slow Dance To:” this couch is actually stuffed with $100 bills.</p> <p><a href="http://www.blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep17.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/37365605790http://www.pithetic.com/post/37365605790Thu, 06 Dec 2012 19:12:07 -0500episode 16: ruffalo soldier<p>Do you need closure for all the plot threads from<em> Johnny English 1? </em>Good, because we’ve got NO DEARTH of Mel Brooks impressions. We go shopping for books about Princess Diana and Chris Farley’s powwows in the afterlife, try to place James Bond somewhere on the Kinsey scale, and puzzle out a Quebecois cultural equivalent for “Day of the Marmot.” Plus: an exclusive sneak peak into Famous Actor Mark Ruffalo’s many moonlighting operations! Pop open a Big K Cola and ascend to the Earth Plane, because there’s nothing more mediocre than “Changing Lanes” with Samuel Adams…unless it’s actually Samuel L. Jackson.</p> <p><a href="http://blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep16.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/36893988204http://www.pithetic.com/post/36893988204Fri, 30 Nov 2012 14:49:59 -0500episode 15: thankskilling 2<p>Temporal synchronance does not a holiday theme make, you guys. Nevertheless, this episode is jam-packed with seasonal segments: Lists of Films Involving People Wearing Bonnets, Famous Bridges in Turkey, and the complete Thanksgiving oeuvre of Martin Brest. The Hon. Judge Reinhold stickles for the law, Da Vinci does some spec work for the Tootsie Roll company, and we take an exciting preseason look at the hot new prospects in our favorite noncompetitive sport. PLUS: the second ho-oh-whoa-oh-iest montage we’ve ever done. Sell out your lion Jesus for turkish delight and maybe eat some turtledove wings, because no one will ever choose you, Darren. What a great gift!</p> <p><a href="http://blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep15.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/36143677908http://www.pithetic.com/post/36143677908Tue, 20 Nov 2012 11:46:21 -0500episode 14: una noche<p>When was the first time YOU remember encountering William H. Macy? How does the rest of the world get their Perry Mason fix? And what do Hegemon of Phaisos, Weird Al, and our own Eli Sentman have in common? Blair forgets who Breckin Meyer is, Eli does a terrible impersonation of a German Wolf Blitzer, and humanity agrees that there is no need for a musical version of ‘Calendar Girls.’ Plus: we reveal that there is actually a WHOLE CITY between New York and D.C.! Keep your boy-band orthography consistent unless you have WebTV, because Boy is about to Meet Chair.</p> <p><a href="http://blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep14.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/35428227435http://www.pithetic.com/post/35428227435Sat, 10 Nov 2012 15:20:57 -0500episode 13: how to kill a mockingbird<p>Sorry to break it to you, Zooey Deschanel’s character from <em>Failure to Launch</em>, but this episode will NOT help you with your avian stakeout. What you <em>will</em> learn about are things like condom cloaking technology, the collective archetype of the stegosaurus, “6 Famous Boats You Didn’t Know Were Boats,” and the omnipresence of Daniel Day Lewis in American history up to and including the civil war<em>. </em>Take a visit to Crustacean Park with the Paul Giamatti Booster Club: it’s slightly more bearable with a VHS of “The WIzard of Oz.”</p> <p><a href="http://blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep13.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/34942088210http://www.pithetic.com/post/34942088210Sat, 03 Nov 2012 21:03:57 -0400episode 12: the eisenberg uncertainty principle<p><span>Do you want to make quiche? Too bad. Luckily, we’ve got theories of everything: the Cook’s Illustrated Relationship Postulate, the Victim-Blaming Recapitulation of </span><em>Home Alone, </em><span>and the 100% Probability of Ringtones Being Audible. We pay a visit to the video-store equivalent of ESPN classic, half-ass our Halloween costumes with particular outfits we’d wear anyway, and stage a culinary battle of bellicose eponymous foodstuffs. Tell all your friends: we’re keeping the huns in Hanukkah.</span></p> <p><span><a href="http://blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep12.mp3">Listen Now</a></span></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/34357017377http://www.pithetic.com/post/34357017377Fri, 26 Oct 2012 14:02:39 -0400episode 11: day tripper<p>Calling all Avril Lavigne apologists, Nickelback neurologists, and potential primatologists! We’ve got a pressing question: who ruins Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride? Take the chocolate tour of the Sewer Museum and hear Blair mispronounce “cropyright” and “pleople” as well as forget her own age while Eli sticks up for Celine Dion and leaves himself an important Christmas note about dental hygiene. So cute it makes us angry, it’s all that and an insufficiently-filled bag of chips. Smile! You’re on a podcast.</p> <p><a href="http://blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep11.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/32649928726http://www.pithetic.com/post/32649928726Sun, 30 Sep 2012 23:40:21 -0400episode 10: a tribute to the barenaked ladies<p>We’re teaming up to pitch you some thought-provoking documentaries about chairs, razors, and the sounds of public transit. Eli Whitney does a great impression of Iced Tea and the Blair Witch Project spreads awareness of the number-one killer of hamsters. We’ll show you how Vico creates topics for nonfiction Netflix and how Jung predicted the worst TV premiere in history. Lean on your Yankee Cane and read the memo re: stilettos, because the truth is out there: Mulder and Scully are totally doin’ it.</p> <p><a href="http://www.blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep10.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/30121825525http://www.pithetic.com/post/30121825525Fri, 24 Aug 2012 16:52:21 -0400episode 9: a tale of two cities<p>Through the power of technology, we bring you the first episode of our New York and LA lives. Featured topics include bicoastal Chipotle habits, watching the Fantastic Four movies out of order without confusion, “Gros,” and how Batman isn’t wearing a condom. Eli makes Sophie’s Teen Choice, Blair takes a bag of kale to the movies, PLUS! Breaking coverage of the 2008 Women’s Olympic Gymnastics Team set to Taco Bell’s canon! Buckle the family into your Land Rover: it’s less calories because there’s not the bread.</p> <p><a href="http://blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep9.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/28851646843http://www.pithetic.com/post/28851646843Mon, 06 Aug 2012 15:24:31 -0400episode 8: bucket<p>More pressing questions this week, including: can we graduate? Who is/are Mott the Hoople? And WAS Guadalupe available? Meanwhile, Eli delves into the logical fallacies at the heart of One Direction songs, Blair admits to a shameful past of VHS-ing anime off of Adult Swim, and we listen to the deep cuts of Carly Rae Jepsen so you don’t have to. It’s our last show before we go bi-coastal, so get nostalgic: this episode costs more in Canada.</p> <p><a href="http://blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep8.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/24683868927http://www.pithetic.com/post/24683868927Fri, 08 Jun 2012 12:12:12 -0400episode 7: yo-lo ma<p>We’re so sorry, but we hate the things you love. Your favorite directors, your incumbent President, your only example of a rapping, steampunk cowboy. We let Drake retitle cherished classic movies, we can’t tell 90s alt-rock frontmen apart, and we shit all over Zappos’ famed customer service. Most embarrassingly, we can’t even remember who wrote “Jellicle Cats.” Make yourself a shitty hummus sandwich and join us for the hate-fest, and VOTE ROMNEY.</p> <p><a href="http://blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep7.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/24295886818http://www.pithetic.com/post/24295886818Sat, 02 Jun 2012 20:31:36 -0400episode 6: high school consequential<p>It’s the episode where literally everything comes back to what we did in high school. We reveal the results of our showdown and end up talking about Eli’s garage band. We try to talk about graduation speeches and end up quoting Chalky Studebaker. We attempt to discuss YouTube fan videos and end up shitting all over our AP poetry curriculums. All this and a bag of yams. Plus! A NEW LISTENER CHALLENGE for the week.</p> <p><a href="http://blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep6.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/23701554432http://www.pithetic.com/post/23701554432Thu, 24 May 2012 20:07:22 -0400episode 5: bungle in the jungle<p>Probing philosophical questions of the week: is there a God in Pokémon? Why can’t Sims have sex except in the heart bed? And who keeps making all these movies about the daughter of the President? Plus career advice for the Hamburglar, the Unsung Best Mom of Pop Culture in honor of Mothers’ Day, and an ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN between the B-list alumni of our respective high schools featuring FREE BEERS from Eli for everyone who votes. Because we’re tigers when we want love, but snakes if we disagree.</p> <p><a href="http://blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep5.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/22703732895http://www.pithetic.com/post/22703732895Wed, 09 May 2012 01:45:28 -0400episode 4: behind the music<p>We’re devoting this entire episode to telling the story of late-90s pop that’s as tragic as it is unknown. An aspiring musician teams up with a limo driver and a hardware store employee to write crazily catchy songs with non-sequiturs for lyrics—and becomes a hit. There’s all the classic sturm and drang of rock-and-roll stardom, transposed into the world of manufactured boy bands, but no one could expect the last tragedy that strikes. It’s the story of LFO and its frontman Rich Cronin: lik dis if u cry every other tim.</p> <p><a href="http://blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep4.mp3">Listen Now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/22319416813http://www.pithetic.com/post/22319416813Thu, 03 May 2012 09:44:58 -0400episode 3: a call from space<p>The word of the week is efficiency: taking public transit, going to the movies so you don’t have to, and the first-ever Pithetic LIGHTNING ROUND! Plus, we score an exclusive interview with the subject of some of TV’s hottest new sitcoms and delve into the deep cuts of the Kidz Bop catalog. So eat your Kanine Krunchies, pour yourself a glass of opium tea, and ponder the fate of the Loch Ness monster’s corpse with us.</p> <p><a href="http://blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep3.mp3">Listen now</a></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/21829245380http://www.pithetic.com/post/21829245380Wed, 25 Apr 2012 23:09:19 -0400episode 2: pig in the city<p><p class="p1">This episode is only valuable insofar as it reveals insight into what it means to be human. We’re hitting you with the heavy stuff: tiptoeing through the tulips, biblical theme parks, J.K. Rowling’s first foray into porn, the relative resale value of Princess Diana beanie babies, and <em>human drama</em>. Plus, we reveal the secret link between the Killuminati and the Teletubbies, and bring you the world’s ho-oh-whoa-iest musical montage. #smdh</p> <p class="p1"><a href="http://blairthornburgh.com/podcasts/ep2.mp3">Listen Now</a></p></p>http://www.pithetic.com/post/21351739433http://www.pithetic.com/post/21351739433Wed, 18 Apr 2012 20:05:00 -0400